News Flash

by chuckofish

Jelly Beans can make you thin! Yes, that’s right. The pretty little candies that we find everywhere this time of year are actually chock full of health benefits, so dig in! Let’s start with some important nutritional information:

So many zeros can only mean one thing: jelly beans not only can’t hurt you, but you will burn off what few calories they contain in minutes of regular living! What could be better? Lest you still harbor doubts, I quote a passage from a recent study of the “jellybean diet”:

“Models and celebrities have been doing this for years,” says one fashion insider. “There are always bowls of jellybeans on photo shoots and, because they’re not messy to eat and don’t bloat you out, the girls like to munch on them to keep their energy up.” Inside Condé Nast’s illustrious Manhattan offices, the real-life Devil Wears Prada girls can often be seen chowing down on the little candies, known as “a great one-and-done candy, because they only have 11 calories each, and you can eat them forever.” *

In the same article a nutritionist went on to say, ““It’s obvious why this diet would appeal to young girls. On a social level, it’s fine to pop the odd sweetie, whereas health foods and vegetable shakes tend to be messy and ugly to look at.”  Let’s face it, she really hit the nail on the head here. People look so much better chewing dainty candies than they do stuffing salad in their mouths.

Although there are many jelly bean varieties, nothing really beats the classic Brach’s flavors, now conveniently available in a huge, 54 oz. bag.

Don’t forget jelly beans’ decorative qualities. What makes a better addition to any room than tastefully displayed jelly beans? But please don’t waste the candy.

It’s true. Jelly beans are the perfect food: they give you energy;  you’ll become popular if you share (or give away the flavors you don’t like), and they’re romantic because who wouldn’t want to eat jelly beans with a date Best of all, because they’re tiny, they create the illusion that you aren’t actually eating very much, so you can eat more! Get on with that jelly bean diet!

*pictures from pintarest and google. Quotes, which have been altered from the original, from here.

And in case you think I’ve flipped, don’t forget