“It’s easy to see the beginnings of things, and harder to see the ends.”
I am skipping around in Joan Didion’s Slouching Towards Bethlehem, which my sister gave me for Christmas. I never lived in New York City, but I think the essay I quoted above also reflects a process of growing up that we can all relate to. And I would suppose that my sister does especially get what Didion is talking about, since she said her own “Goodbye to All That” when she moved to mid-MO a couple of years ago.
Even though I didn’t have a “New York” phase, I was struck by how Didion characterizes one’s twenties — the sheer optimism, the lack of concern for resources and the feeling that money would come from somewhere, the belief that there would always be new faces at every party. It reminded me of a comment an acquaintance made to me once: that it was so romantic DN and I fell in love when we were poor. Although obviously in bad taste, the comment wasn’t entirely incorrect — we do have fond memories of the early days when my apartment was primarily furnished by IKEA and we mostly entertained ourselves by going on walks for free, a la Didion’s New York days. But we did move on, too.
On Monday I posted about getting the guest bedroom set up in our apartment. Well, many of you know that what we are really doing is setting up a nursery (!), albeit with a guest bed for visitors.
Now we can all admit why my blog posts primarily focused on resting and lounging for about 3 straight months. We are going to have a baby at the end of May, and I have been very immersed in this “beginning of things.” I suppose there’s an inherent end, too, as Didion suggests. People keep telling us to enjoy sleeping while we can, to take one last vacation alone, etc. I suppose the message is, “life as you know it is ending.” But for now, I just feel very, very excited.
Will it be a little me or a little DN?