“The cathedrals of our time–freeways.”
Well, Daughter #1 here, to talk about our recent road trip. Upon returning from our wonderful sojourn to Oklahoma and Texas, my mother and I watched “True Stories” the Talking Heads rock n’ roll musical. Here’s a Washington Post article from 1986 about the movie that I think kind of misses the point.
Anyway, David Byrne spends a lot of time driving in the movie. And his driving is nothing like the driving now. Enjoy this 1987 scene from “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles,” where Michael McKean chastises John Candy for driving 78 miles per hour.
And then feast your eyes on this sign in Oklahoma.
Sidenote, as the driver, driving very fast, I was unable to take pictures of signs etc on the roadside that I would traditionally take and thus relied on my mother’s not-so-quick-draw-camera skills. It took almost five days of practice and repeated drills, but she did eventually capture this sign just before our arrival in Tulsa.
Okay back to the narrative. Please notice that the speed limit is 75. The minimum speed is 60! 60! And note that Oklahoma has a strict no tolerance policy for slow drivers on their interstates. Also keep in mind that Oklahoma is where the wind comes sweeping down the plains. It’s windy! We’re talking real white knuckle driving. About 50 miles after crossing the state line, the speed limit INCREASED to a mere 80 miles per hour. At that point we joked that I’d get pulled over and the officer would say, “Do you have any idea how SLOWLY you were going?”
And Texas. Whoee. They have express lanes for people who can afford to pay more to drive on the highway. They have rich person lanes! Naturally, Google directed us to those. I can’t wait for the bill to arrive in the mail. And all of it is under construction. If I had a dollar for all of the “shoulder closed” signs we passed. Well, I could afford those express lanes!
If this doesn’t give you heart palpitations, I don’t know what will.
I will say that the other drivers in Texas traffic seemed nice and were agreeable about letting a car with out of state plates in when they were clearly in the wrong lane and needed to get over IMMEDIATELY. Having driven in Denver traffic last Fall when we accidentally timed our arrival to the start of the Denver Broncos game, I can say that that is not true for drivers in all states.
In Oklahoma, one Mercedes driver clearly thought I was driving too slowly in the left lane and flashed his lights at me to move the hell over (my interpretation). Joke was on him though, once he got passed me, there wasn’t really any place to go. And shortly thereafter, an unmarked (they’re all unmarked in OK) highway patrol car sped by and pulled over the Mercedes. I’ll admit, I felt a smidge of joy.
All of this is to say, that having handled the navigation system directing me through Fort Worth’s morning rush hour over to Dallas to head up to Tulsa, I truly feel that I am woman, hear me roar.
But I’ll admit I was real glad to get back to this scenic and slow Missouri driving this weekend. I listened to Talking Heads all the way back to Jefferson City.
dual personalities 